Today, fill your cup of life with sunshine and laughter.

10 December 2006


Manic Monday
By The Bangles
(damn it - still not working!)


1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer...

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Here's one for Dana ...

A salesman is lost in a rural area and stops at a farm to get directions. As he is talking to the farmer he notices a COW with a wooden leg. "How did the cow get a wooden leg?", he asks the farmer."Well", says the farmer, "that is a very special cow. One night not too long ago we had a fire start in the barn."Well, sir, that cow set up a great mooing that woke everyone, and by the time we got there she had herded all the other animals out of the barn and saved everyone of them.""And that was when she hurt her leg?" asked the salesman."Oh no" says the farmer. "She was fine after that. Though a while later I was in the woods out back and a bear attacked me. Well, sir, that cow was near by and she came running and set on that bear and chased him off. Saved me for sure.""So the bear injured her leg, then," says the salesman."Oh no.She came away without a scratch from that. Though a few days later my tractor turned over in a ditch and I was knocked unconscious. Well, that cow dove into the ditch and pulled me out before I drowned.""So she hurt her leg then?" asks the salesman."Oh no," says the farmer."So how did she get the wooden leg?" the salesman asks."Well", the farmer tells him, "When you have a cow like that, you don't want to eat her all at once."

Y'all have a wonderful day! Kiss!


Diana said...

#10 my favorite!

TopChamp said...

I'm touching all the wood I can see that I don't get pulled over any time soon, in case one of these pops into my head!

Funny cow story too...

Anyway: Must go finish my practising. If I actually did as much playing as I do talking about playing I'd be sorted!

Bond said...


Dixiechick said...

Hilarious! I love the bus almost under water!!! woooooooooooooooooo

Ah Shit is right on the money there... LMOO

julie said...

Great cow joke!! Wooooo!!!

Meribah said...

Heeheehee! I like the bus too!

Dana said...

ROTFLMOO! Okay, that joke is finding it's way into a Bessie story somehow...

Travis said...

KISS pandas!! I love it!!

#11 would get me in trouble.

Travis said...

Dangit! I'm still having the same problem you are when I try to post audiocodes!!

Anndi said...

LMOO.. wait..they don't check the trunk do they?

Do they?

LMOO Hold my beer!!!!! ROTFLMOO!!!

Annelisa said...

Looks like you got a good blog going here - I'll be back to have a proper look!