Today, fill your cup of life with sunshine and laughter.
~Dodinsky


22 March 2010

Let's See How Long I Can Keep This Up ...

Quote of the Day:

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. ~Hank Williams~

(Okay, it's random but it made me laugh.)


Hello again.

It's been so long since I came online, the existence of this blog had slipped from my mind. What kept me away was so much more important, I guess. For a long time, survival was my focus, just getting from one day to the next. Most of you (if there's anybody out there, that is ...) probably didn't know what was going on because, face it, I don't share very well. That's just me. People love me despite my tendency to hold back, though. Go figure. Anyway, I'm working on that. You know: take a step, backslide, try again. But I digress ...

So, beyond my little boy's health issues (pretty much controlled now with medication, thankfully), I was having some coping issues of my own. With recent urgent issues with work and family, I had put everything else aside and had no life of my own anymore. I was a ticking timebomb stress-wise so it became a priority to find something that was uniquely mine. For me. The whole concept boggles the mind, doesn't it? After all, the single mother of a 7-year old shouldn't need anything else, right? Right??

It was a struggle to create an environment which permitted me the freedom to have time for myself but I was insistent. First, I gave up computer at home. Completely. It was eating up far too much of my free time and wasn't doing anything for me health-wise. I was using it as a replacement for a social life. Difficult as it was, I gave up the habit.

The money I saved by getting rid of my internet at home was invested in a newspaper subscription and the B-man and I pored over the classifieds to find activities that were A) social and B) inexpensive or better, free. There's a wealth of stuff to do in this city. Three evenings a week, the B-man and I would embark on our prescribed adventure.

On Wednesdays, we take a mother-child swim class with 20 other family groups. We've met some wonderful new friends, improved our swimming skills and gotten some much-needed exercise.

Fridays, we join a group of B's peers and their parents at a local high school to play chess. I've played since I was a kid, but haven't had partners in some time, so it is a great opportunity to revisit the strategies and thought processes of the game. B-man loves games and enjoys this as an opportunity to flex his competitive cerebral muscles, as the kids enjoy a tournament every week with medals to all who defeat their opponents. I'm amazed at how quickly his skills have improved but I really shouldn't be surprised. He is Indiana Jones going after the Holy Grail in regards to those dollar store plastic medals.

On Saturdays before lunch, we have revived a tradition from years past, exercising and socializing dogs at the animal shelter. The SPCA always needs volunteers and B is big enough now to work with the dogs too, under my supervision. This has had a very positive impact on our lives, as B rarely has nightmares about his seizures since we've refocused outside the family.

In addition to three outings a week, I have allowed adult time for myself. On Tuesdays, my mom comes over after supper to take care of the grandchild and dog while I go to Codiac Symphonic Band rehearsal. It's been a while since I was a musician in the band rather than the director and it's fun to be with people I have known for years making music. It's not even all about being me and not simply the B-man's mommy.

Finally, on Saturday evenings, I date. Yes, you heard me right. It was an inadvertent side-effect of meeting all the new people through our activities. There are some very sweet single dads around, who are in exactly the same boat as I am, finding a life for themselves beyond their children. Dating these men is safe and no-pressure because, like me, they are just looking for "me time". We share babysitters to cut costs, and we have a good time just being with another adult for a while, without the responsibility of children underfoot.

So that's what I've been doing. What's new with you?


2 comments:

Travis said...

I like your social schedule. Sounds like your actually living your life now. It's good to hear.

Anndi said...

Smooch!

I'm glad you're doing well, sweetie.

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