A SKILLFUL MEME

Sooo ... i shamelessly pilfered this from Turnbaby's fine blog because there's nothing more interesting to me than ... ME! *laughs hysterically* (i really don't expect most of you to get the joke) And this meme is all about what i can and can't do ... i figure i'm going to surprise myself as much as anybody, 'cos my intent is to be brutally and scrupulously honest, and i have no idea what my results will be. Well, here goes nothin'.



The Rules: You highlight the things you can do and you leave in normal type the things you can’t.



1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. (i am unapologetically verbose)

2. Tell if someone is lying. (thought i could, but i am too trusting)

3. Take a photo.

4. Score a baseball game. (i have no idea what this means, so i guess that's a no ...)

5. Name a book that matters.

6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible.

7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.

8. Not monopolize the conversation. (of course - i'm the quiet, shy sort)

9. Write a letter. (knowing when to stop is my problem)

10. Buy a suit. (hmmm ... doesn't indicate men's or women's ...)

11. Swim three different strokes. (like the proverbial fish)

12. Show respect without being a suck-up. (can also be facetious without my target being aware of it)

13. Throw a punch. (shoulda asked if i could take a punch ...)

14. Chop down a tree.

15. Calculate square footage. (surprisingly, given my limited math skills)

16. Tie a bow tie. (my piano tuner wears a bowtie ... everybody else I know wears a clip-on)

17. Make one drink in large batches, very well. (used to be able to, but haven't for years now)

18. Speak a foreign language. (technically, french isn't a foreign language in Canada, but i speak two languages ...)

19. Approach a man out of her league. (this one time, at bowling ...)

20. Sew a button. (and make my own clothes, too)

21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer. (had lots of practice with my friend Francois-Xavier while at university ...)

22. Give a man an orgasm so that he doesn’t have to ask after it. (grins)

23. Be loyal.

24. Know her poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope.

25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.

26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.

27. Play gin with an old guy.

28. Play go fish with a kid. (daily ...)

29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped. (huh?)

30. Feign interest. (don't have to. you fascinate me - REALLY!)

31. Make a bed. (here's a challenge - make a bunkbed ...)

32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. (does "It came in a box." count?)

33. Hit a jump shot in pool. (somehow thought that was basketball ...)

34. Dress a wound. (usually pass out afterwards, but I'm good when the chips are down)

35. Jump-start a car. Change a flat tire. Change the oil.

36. Make three different bets at a craps table. (Something tells me i'd have to have gambled to do that.)

37. Shuffle a deck of cards. (Eventually ... but it takes time to pick the little buggers up.)

38. Tell a joke. (terrible at it)

39. Know when to split cards in blackjack. (um ... see #36)

40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear. (i can do one better - speak to a teenager so he/she listens)

41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear. (yes, actually and get preferential treatment lots, too)

42. Talk to a dog so it will hear. (absolutely)

43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. (not if I want it to work ...)

44. Ask for help. (i have a really hard time with this.)

45. Break a man’s grip on my wrist. (took a self-defense course)

46. Tell a woman’s dress size. (rule of thumb - always underestimate)

47. Recite one poem from memory. (more than one)

48. Remove a stain. (yes, he's gone ...)

49. Say no. (VERY difficult, but important skill to have)

50. Fry an egg sunny-side up.

51. Build a campfire.

52. Step into a job no one wants to do.

53. Sometimes, kick some ass. (verbally, yes. physically, never)

54. Break up a fight.

55. Point to the north at any time. (*points straight down* i'm already there)

56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person. (*grins* yup)

57. Explain what a light-year is.

58. Avoid boredom. (i'm never bored - too much to do)

59. Write a thank-you note.

60. Be brand loyal to at least one product.

61. Cook bacon.

62. Hold a baby. (as often as possible)

63. Deliver a eulogy. (If i knew the person well enough, i would be singing, not talking)

64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. (prefer to think of him as a product of the times)

65. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. (throw a ... *dissolves into gales of laughter*)

66. Throw a football with a tight spiral. (*laughs some more*)

67. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably. (see? i knew it was basketball!)

68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. (most of the time, but nobody can say so with 100% certainty)

69. Tie a knot. (i'm from a fishing village)

70. Shake hands.

71. Iron a shirt.

72. Stock an emergency bag for the car. (a necessity in northern climates)

73. Caress a man’s neck. (better ask Mac about this one ...)

74. Know some birds. (know some bees, too)

75. Negotiate a better price.