THURSDAY THIRTEEN - THE GOOD THINGS ...

Sometimes it's a real challenge to see the good things that happen in the course of a day. But it's important to try, especially when your life is looking dismal and gray. Here are thirteen good things that happened to me today. Some of them might not seem like much, but they made me smile at the time. That's huge. And the day's not over, either.

1. Dancing with my son in the kitchen before breakfast, to the Ramones.
2. My son clinging to me like a monkey when I tried to deliver him to his classroom at daycare. He wasn't upset or sad, just being his usual mischievous self.
3. My favorite Van Morrison song played on the radio on the drive to work.
4. I hit all green lights on my way to work. That's phenomenal.
5. I got to work 6 minutes earlier than usual, which gave me time to chat casually with a friend.
6. My at-risk English class, who knew I was feeling bad yesterday, brought me a card telling me how much they appreciate me, signed by everyone in the class, plus several students and teachers from outside my sphere of influence.
7. Third period French class was pre-empted for Winter Carnival activities and we all went ice skating instead.
8. Eating lunch in the staff room with friends and colleagues today. Laughing over Tina's lizard and cricket story.
9. Noon jam session in my classroom with Matthew and Evan playing a duet on their guitars for me.
10. Jocelyn getting out of her suspension early for good behavior and coming back to class today.
11. Advanced Music class this afternoon. Finishing the day with these kids is a gift every day.
12. Kevin played Fur Elise today from beginning to end, after only two years of piano lessons with me. I think we both felt that rush from the accomplishment. Lol
13. Senior Band practice. They've been struggling with a particular jazz piece for a month now, and today it suddenly came together.

SOMETIMES

Sometimes, life is beautiful. Those times mean singing love songs in the shower, and dancing in the kitchen with your 4-year old son, to Louis Armstrong. It's breathing deep and smelling a man's scent on your pillows as you make the bed. Those times are represented by memories of burnt toast and runny eggs served in bed like a gourmet feast by two laughing individuals, one large, one small. And loveletters and emails and phone calls that make you feel like you matter to someone in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes, life is damn near perfect.

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Sometimes, it's not. I suppose I should be grateful for the month that I got to feel that way. Right now, I can only think how much I will miss, how much hurt this will cause my son, how lonely our lives are going to be. And I wonder why it all happened. Was there a purpose? Was it worth the tears and the pain of today? Does anybody have the answers? I don't.

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Sometimes, you just have to pick up the pieces and move on. You learn from your experience, you heal and, if you're lucky, life takes on a sort of beauty again. It can never be the same, but sometimes, you get to see the bigger picture. We all go through this life alone. No matter how many people you gather around you, in the defining moments, you are alone.

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MY DEAR FRIENDS

They say time heals every wound, but I found something better. Love. The love of my friends, which helped me not only to survive a very difficult experience, but also to heal enough to be able to accept a new love into my life with open arms and an open heart.

Two Occasions (Live)
By Babyface
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"Two Occasions"

A summer love is beautiful
But it's not enough
To satisfy emotions
That are shared between us
A winter love is cozy
But I need so much more
It just intensifies my wants
To have a love that endures

'Cause every time I close my eyes
I think of you
And no matter what the season nears
I still love you
With all my heart
And I wanna be with you
Wherever you are

I only think of you on two occasions
That's day and night
I'd go for broke if I could be with you
Only you can make it right

An autumn love is special
At this time of the year
But when the leaves are gone
Does that love disappear
I never underestimate the new love of spring
But I'm glad to say in my heart
I know my love's lasting

'Cause every time I close my eyes
I think of you
And no matter what the season nears
I still love you
With all my heart
And I wanna be with you
Wherever you are


'Cause every time I close my eyes
I think of you
And no matter what the season nears
I still love you
With all my heart
And I wanna be with you
Wherever you are